мини-проект “Debates: Should parents choose friends for their teenagers’ children?”

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Mini-project : Debates : “ should parents choose Friends for their teenagers’ children ?” The work was performed by the student of the 10 form “B” Aralov Timur Krasny Yar 2011-2012

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Communication Communication with peers plays an important role in social and intellectual development of children. With friends a child learns to trust and respect, to dialogue on equal terms to all things which his parents can’t teach him. The inability of the child to make friends or be friends with someone for a long time begins already to appear in the kindergarten. The first alarming sign usually is that the child doesn’t tell his parents anything about the children of his own group or talks about them reluctantly. Talk to a tutor group maybe will confirm your fears.

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R ecommendations If your child is under 6 years old and he has few friends or none at all, then most likely social skills are assimilated more slowly than other children, and perhaps to learn to be friends, he will need your help. And here we must begin with the ability to approach other children and to tie the conversation. It is better to choose the most outgoing and friendly child in kindergarten group or in the yard. As recommended in the famous song, it's easiest just to start a conversation with a smile. Then you can say, "Hi, my name is ... You can play with you?"

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Friends are power From time to time, even a child with normal social skills may draw into themselves. This usually happens when parents divorce, change the school or kindergarten, move to another city or in other stressful situations for the child. As far as possible you should prepare the child for the upcoming changes, discussing with him what was happening, that will change his life after this, and how he should conduct himself at the same time.

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It does not matter how many friends will have your child Number of friends for a child depends on how he is shy or, conversely, sociable. To develop the communication skills, a shy child is enough to have two or three good friends, while extroverts feel perfectly at a large company. Every parent wants his child to enjoy popularity among peers. The main thing with this - to show objectivity and put aside your own preferences. The difficulty begins when the parents and the child's different temperaments . And sociable parents who shy child may begin to pressure him too much, believing that what was good for them in their childhood , and should be approached for their child. Parent-introvert may, however, worry too many friends in the child, then it seems to him that it is better to have one, but a true friend.

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Take care of your friends

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Well , it’s not bad, when the child is surrounded by a large number of friends. But when it comes to a really close friendship, the principle of "more is better" is no longer valid. Even a very sociable child may lack the strong mutual friendship, which he really needed, in which it is understood and accepted for who he is.

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The number of friends varies as they grow older the child, as well as changes with age and the concept of friendship. In preschool and primary school children friends, tend to become more accessible to them for the game, children, neighbors, usually in the yard. And since many of the children meet this criterion, then the question "Who are your friends?" A young child typically displays a list of names. Later, a circle of friends is shrinking. Children begin to choose friends based on their own taste and mutual interests, often choosing friends in his own image and likeness. And their friends, children remain faithful for a long time.

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A rguments for the fact that parents need to find friends for their child: 1) parents don’t care for the child ; 2) parents know where and with whom their child is ; 3) parents know friends of their child very well ;

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Arguments against the fact that parents needn’t to choose friends for their child: 1) child will not grow independent ; 2) children may not like a friend whom their parents have chosen for them ; 3) kids get bored with this friend because he reminds them parents’ lecturing .

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What can also help parents? Create opportunities for friendship. Periodically ask your child if he would like to invite to visit a friend or a party for their friends or neighbors‘ children . Invite a child to your home, children are easier to contact , talking one on one. Find him something to do, the sports section or needlework circle, where a child could meet and socialize with their peers.

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Teach your child the right to communicate. When you discuss with your child how to take into account the feelings of another person, teach him compassion and justice, you are planting it a very important social skills that will help him in the future, not only to find true friends, and friends for a long time. Children can learn compassion even in 2 to 3 years of age. If they have a conflict with one another, advise them to possible solutions to this conflict . Praise your child for a good, good deeds and condemned, when he shows selfishness.

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Talk with your child and his friends, his social life, even if it is already a teenager. Often children, especially older ones, are reluctant to talk about their problems with friends. But the nevertheless , we need your sympathy and help. If your child says, "Nobody loves me!"

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It should not comfort him such looping phrases as "We love you very much." Or "Do not worry, you will find new friends.", The child may decide that you do not take seriously his problems. Instead, try to make it openly talked about the fact that it has happened, he fell out with his best friend, or feels in a class of "black sheep". Analyze with the possible causes of the conflict may be that a friend was in a bad mood, etc., and try to find a way to reconciliation.

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Thank you for attention !!!