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TWELFTH NIGHT; OR WHAT YOU WILL

PERSONS REPRESENTED

ORSINO, Duke of Illyria

SEBASTIAN, a young Gentleman, brother to VIOLA

ANTONIO, a Sea captain, friend to SEBASTIAN

A SEA CARTAIN, friend to VIOLA

VALENTINE, gentlemen attending

CURIO,           on the Duke

SIR TOBY BELCH, Uncle of OLIVIA

SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK

MALVOLIO, Steward to OLIVIA

CLOWN, servants to

FABIAN, OLIVIA

OLIVIA, a rich Countess

VIOLA, in love with the Duke

MARIA, OLIVIA’s Woman

SCENE – A city in Illyria; and the Sea-caost near it.

ACT II

SCENE III – A Room in OLIVIA’s House

Maria. The devil a Puritan that he is, or anything constantly but a time pleaser: an affection’d ass that cons state without book and utters it by great swarths; the best persuaded of himself, so crammed, as he thinks, with excellences, that it is his ground of faith that all that look on him love him; and on that vice in him will my revenge find notable cause to work.

Sir Toby Belch. What wilt you do?

Maria. I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of love; wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find himself most feelingly personated. I can write very like my lady, your niece; on a forgotten matter we can hardly make distinction of our hands.

Sir Toby Belch. Excellent! I smell a device.

Sir Andrew Ague-Cheek. I have it in my nose too.

Sir Toby Belch. He shall think, by the letters that you wilt drop, that they come from my niece, and that she is in love with him.

Maria. My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.

Sir Andrew Ague-Cheek. And your horse now would make him an ass.

Maria. Ass, I doubt not.

Sir Andrew Ague-Cheek. O, ‘t will be admirable.



Предварительный просмотр:

Characters

Boy                     Cat

Donkey                Cock

Dog                     Robbers

-1-

1st Robber.  It’s too boring to sit here and to do nothing.

2nd Robber.  I agree with you.

3rd Robber. (entering.) Come on, boys, we’ve got a job. We’ll rob the shop of musical instruments!

Robbers. Hurray! Hurray! Let’s go!

-2-

Donkey. I'll run away from my master. There, I am sure I shall be a town musician. (to a dog.) Why do you lie there, my friend? Why are you so sad?

Dog. Oh, I am old and every day I am growing weaker. I cannot work any longer, and my master says that I must be killed. So I ran away. But what shall I do now? How am I to earn my bread?

Donkey. I'll tell you, my friend. I am going to Bremen to be a town musician there. Will you go with me? I shall play the lute, and you will beat the kettle-drum.

Dog. Very well, thank you. You are a real friend.

Donkey. Now, old cat, why are you so sad?

Cat. Who can be merry, when his neck is in danger? I am growing old, and I like to sit by the fire and not to hunt about for mice. My mistress says she will drown me, so I ran away as fast as I could. But now, where am I to go?

Donkey. Go with us to Bremen. You understand the night music: so you can be a street musician.

Cat. With all my heart.

All together. We all go to Bremen, we want to be street musicians.

Cock. Cock-a-doodle-do! Cock-a-doodle-do!

Donkey. Why are, you crowing so? What is the matter?

Cock. I'll tell you. Visitors are coming for Sunday, and my mistress told the cook to make soup of me. So I am crowing now.

Donkey. Listen to us, dear Cock. Would you like to run away with us? We are going to Bremen. You have a good voice, and if we make music together, it will be fine.

Cock. Thank you, I'll go.

-3-

Cock. Listen, friends, I see a light; it must be a house nearby.

Donkey. We must go on to that light. I don't like to be here. (The donkey looks in.)

Cock. What do you see, Donkey?

Donkey. What do I see? Why, a table with good things to eat and drink and robbers sitting around it. And they have the musical instruments!

All. The musical instruments!

Cock. That would be a fine thing for us.

Donkey. Yes, yes. Ah, how I wish we were in there.

All together. How can we drive these robbers away?

-4-

Donkey. I don’t know what to do!

Dog. Is there anybody to help us?

Cat. Yes! Let’s call a mouse. She is a symbol of the next year and she must help us!

Cock. Cock-a-doodle-do! Mouse! Mouse! Come here! Help us!

Mouse. Here I am! What do you want?

Cat. We want the robbers run away, so we can take the musical instruments and go to Bremen to be town musicians.

Mouse. With pleasure!

-5-

Robbers. Look! It’s a mouse! A mouse!

Donkey. Dear friends, take your musical instruments! Let’s play and sing a song!

Hear the sound of the falling rain

Coming down like an Armageddon flame,

The shame, the one who died without the name

Hear the dog howling out the key

To a hymn called faith and misery

The bleed, the company lost the war today.

I beg to dream and differ

From the hollow lies

This is the downing of the rest

Of our lives

On holiday!

Hear the drum pounding out the time

Another protestor has crossed the line

To find the moneys on the other side

Can I get another omen

There’s flag, wrapped around the score of men

The gag, the plastic bag on the monument! 



Предварительный просмотр:

III районный фестиваль «Огни школьной рампы»

SCENE  I

Hare: Hallo, you forest people! Hallo, all you who have legs! (The forest animals come in.) We shall have a race. You will race with me, the Hare! We shall run three times round the forest. Who will run with me? Who can outrun me, the Hare? Who can?

Animals (in turn): I can't. I can't. Indeed, I can't. No, and I can't either.

Turtle: I will try. I am slow, but I will try.

Animals: Oh, how bold you are!

Hare (laughing): Ha-ha-ha! You are bold, indeed! (to the audience) He is silly, very silly, isn't he?

Turtle: When shall we start the race?

Hare: We shall start right now.

The animals bring in a post with the notice "Start" on it. The Hare and the Turtle stand side by side.

Animals: Attention! One, two, three — go!

The Hare and the Turtle start running. The Hare runs across the stage and goes out. The Turtle follows him very slowly. The animals take the post away.

SCENE II

A little table with bottles and glasses is seen to the left of the stage. A man (the Innkeeper) with a napkin on his arm is standing behind the table. The Hare appears from the right, crosses the stage quickly and comes up to the Innkeeper and his table.

Innkeeper: How do you do, Mister Hare?

Hare (wiping his forehead); How do you do!.. Heavens, it's hot here.

Innkeeper: I can offer you some fresh water, some lemonade or some ice-cream.

Hare: Well, you see, I'm running a race, so I'm in a hurry!

Innkeeper: With whom are you running a race,  may I ask?

Hare: With the Turtle.

Innkeeper: With the Turtle? (Laughs.) Ha-ha-ha! That's funny! But you are hundred times faster than he is! Ha-ha-ha!

Hare: Of course, I am! Ha-ha-ha!

Innkeeper: So you needn't be in a hurry. With your beautiful strong legs you will always be the first!

Hare (proudly touches his legs): My legs are not bad, are they? Well, I think I can have a glass of lemonade and some ice-cream. I have time to stop a while, I'm sure.

The Innkeeper pours him out   a  glass of lemonade and puts some icecream on a plate. The Hare drinks the lemonade and eats up the ice-cream.

Innkeeper: Another glass?

Hare: I have no objections. (Drinks).

Innkeeper: Some more ice-cream?

Hare: Yes, please, I should like some more. This is very good ice-cream.

Innkeeper: The best in the world, I may say.

The Hare finishes his Ice-cream and puts a coin on the table.

Hare: Now I must be off. Good-bye.

Innkeeper: Good-bye and good luck to you, Mister Hare!

The Hare runs off the stage. The Turtle enters.

Innkeeper: How do you do, Mister Turtle! I see you are tired. Would you like to taste my lemonade and any ice-cream? The weather is hot and the lemonade is cool.

Turtle (movingon): No, thank you, I can't stop now.   I shall be glad to have some of your lemonade after the race.

Innkeeper: But you look tired.

Turtle: Never mind, I'll have enough time to rest after the race. And now — good-bye!

Moves slowly on and on and leaves the stage.

Innkeeper: Good-bye, Mister Turtle. (Begins to clear the table.) Silly Turtle. Ha-ha-ha! (Takes away the table and leaves the stage.)

SCENE III

Hare (comes in running and stops in (he middle of the stage): The Turtle is still far behind me. He will never overtake me, never, never, never! (to the audience) Look at my legs! (Begins to dance.) Tra-la-la, tra-la-la. The Turtle's far behind. Tra-la-la, tra-la-la, the Turtle's far behind! (Fans himself with a handkerchief.) How hot it is! What if I have a rest for a little while? It'll do me good. I can run quicker after a rest. I shall run like the wind! (Sits down.) Like the wind! (Lies down in a corner of the stage.) Like the wind! Like the — (falls asleep).

The Turtle enters the stage, crosses it slowly and goes out. The animals come in bringing the post with the notice "Finish" on it. They stand in a row on the stage so that the sleeping Hare cannot be seen. The Turtle enters and slowly but steadily moves up to the post.

Animals (clap their hands): Hurray! Hurray! Three cheers for the Turtle! The Turtle is the winner! Hurray!

Hare (jumps up and pushes the animals aside; they separate to let him pass): Let me pass, quick, quick! (Runs up to the post and sees the Turtle). What's this? Who's this?

Turtle: It's me, the Turtle.

Hare: But how? Why? And I, with my beautiful legs, I am not the winner? How could that happen?

The Animals (coming forward; to the audience): You know, children, how that happened, don't you?

                           



Предварительный просмотр:

III районный фестиваль «Огни школьной рампы»

«All is well that ends well»

Little Red Riding Hood

Wolf

Grandma

Film Director

Producer

ACT I INTRODUCTION

L.R.R.H.:

Hello! I am … . We are making a film about a little girl’s summer adventure. She used to wear a red cap at all times and her friends and relatives started to call her Little Red Riding Hood. To tell the truth, the cap suited her image and she looked really smart.

Actually, it is going to be a comedy and I am to play the part of L.R.R.H. Let me introduce you my friends who act in the film:

Grandma:

I am glad to meet you, dear friends. I’m L.R.R.H.’s grandmother. I like flowers, children, disco music, tennis, travel. I prefer to live in the country because I hate noise and the pollution of the city. You are always welcome to my country hours – there’s enough room for everybody.

Wolf:

Hi! I am a very big and very bad wolf. I mean – I am ill-mannered, I don’t like rules and regulations, I am not obedient and I like to offend people, if they are not very strong, of course. I have fallen out with my family and live in the forest.  The weather is warm and it’s nice in the fresh air but … I am very hungry!

Film Director:

How are you? Fine, I hope.

Producer:

How are you? Fine, thank you. Here are you at last. It’s time to start.

Lights, Camera, Action! Act I. Take 1.

Film Director:

As soon as the Wolf began to feel that he would like a decent meal,

He went and knocked on Granny’s door …

Grandma:

When Granny opened it, she saw his sharp white teeth, the horrid grin, and the Wolf said:

Wolf:

May I come in?

Producer:

(comments) With a crafty smile he rushed into the house and the terrified woman stepped back.

Film Director:

(adds) “He wants to eat me up.” – she cried.

And she was absolutely right.

Producer:

(interferes) Grandma must pronounce these words. Sit still and keep silent, please.

Film Director:

O.K. I am sorry.

Producer:

(announces) Lights, Camera, Action! Act I. Take 2. Attention, please!

Film Director:

As soon as the Wolf began to feel that he would like a decent meal,

He went and knocked on Granny’s door …

Grandma:

When Granny opened it, she saw his sharp white teeth, the horrid grin, and the Wolf said:

Wolf:

May I come in?

Grandma:

He wants to eat me up!

Producer:

And she was absolutely right.

He ate her in one big gulp.

But Grandmama was slim and tough,

So Wolf wailed:

Wolf:

That’s not enough!

I haven’t yet begun to feel

That I have had a decent meal!

Film Director:

He ran around the kitchen, yelping

that he must have another helping.

Producer:

Oh! I am tired and hungry. Let’s have a snack.

Film Director:

Just time for break.

A good idea!

We have some fruit and sweets, my dear.

Producer:

Nonsense! He is a wolf and not a hare.

It’s not a very good idea!

Go on, and please, don’t interrupt!

ACT II

Wolf:

I haven’t yet begun to feel

That I have had a decent meal!

Producer:

He runs around the kitchen, yelping:

Wolf:

I want to have another helping.

Film Director:

Then he would add with a dreadful leer:

Wolf:

I’ll stay and wait a bit right here

till Little Riding Hood appear.

Producer:

He quickly put on Grandma’s clothes.

Of course, he hadn’t eaten those.

He dressed himself in coat and hat.

He puts on shoes…

Film Director:

And after that,

He even brushed and curled his hair,

Then sat himself in Grandma’s chair…

Then came the little girl in red.

She stopped. She stared. And she said:

L.R.R.H.:

What great dark eyes you have, Grandma!

Wolf:

To see you better, ha-ha-ha!

L.R.R.H.:

What great big ears you have got!

Wolf:

To hear you better, like or not…

Producer:

He sat there watching her and smiled.

He thought:

Wolf:

I’m going to eat you, child.

Film Director:

Then little girl has a closer look,

She touches his fur and pats his crook…

L.R.R.H.:

But Granny! What a lovely fur coat

You have on!

Wolf:

That’s wrong!

Have you forgot

To tell me what big teeth I’ve got?

Oh! No matter what you say,

I’m going to eat you, anyway.

Film Director:

Look! The little girl is smiling.

She is taking a little pistol from her jeans…

She is aiming it at the wolf’s head…

L.R.R.H.:

And bang-bang-bang! The wolf is dead! I’ll take his coat.

It’s soft and nice in the winter cold.

As for Grandma, she feels all right,

Just stays in bed because of fright.

The vet has helped her to come out.

She tells her friends the case about.

ACT III

Producer:

A few weeks later, in the wood,

I came across Miss Riding Hood.

But what a change! No cloak of red,

No silly cap upon her head.

L.R.R.H.:

Hello, and do please note –

My lovely WOLFskin Coat.

Grandma:

Well, believe it or not. But the story has taken place recently and we have great fun telling you about it. We are healthy and happy and we want you to teach a lesson…

L.R.R.H.:

Never loose your mind and give up in difficult situation. Be always ready to defend yourself if you are going to a new place alone.

Film Director:

The Wolf now is looking after decorations at the studio and watches all the cartoons we make. He doesn’t frighten people any more.

As for film, I hope it will become a success and I’ll get my reward at last.

Thank you, friends. Good-bye. See you later.

Happy End


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